2014 Seattle Mariners: New Blood, Same Story.

[Porter]

Last Season: 73-89, 3rd place.

Lineup

Pos	R/L/S	Name	Ratings	Last Season
SS	R	Dustin "Mighty Mouse" Pedroia	10-10-5-8-7, 6-9-9 Speed	.302 BA, 87 R, 48 SBs
LF	S	Chase "Iceman" Headley	10-9-7-6-7	.279, 15 HR, 80 RBI
3B	R	Carlos "The Franchise" Triunfel	10-10-8-6-8, 9-5-8 Speed	.280, 50 2B, 18 HR, 70 RBI, 98 R, 26 SBs
DH	L	Joey "Windmaker" Votto	8-7-10-8-5	.232, 32 HR, 105 RBI
2B	R	Adam "Pacman" Jones	7-7-10-7-6, 8-7-8 Speed	.256, 22 HR, 77 RBIs
1B	L	Chris "Crash" Davis	7-7-10-7-4	.252, 33 HR, 101 RBIs
CF	L	Garrett "Father Time" Anderson	8-8-7-4-8	.316, 9 HR, 56 RBIs
RF	R	Wladmir "Klitschko" Balentien	7-8-10-5-5	.214, 15 HR, 55 RBIs
CA	L	Mitch "I Think I" Canham	7-7-6-5-7	.239, 10 HR, 60 RBIs

Bench

Role	R/L/S	Name	Ratings	Last Season
CA	R	Dion "The Miracle" Morales	7-6-6-6-8	.248, 1 HR, 13 RBIs
1B	L	Garrett "No Name" Jones	8-7-8-5-7	.356, 16 HR, 47 RBIs in AAA
IF	R	Tom "Burger" King	7-5-7-4-6	4 for 14
OF	R	Brent "Pick Pocket" Johnson	6-9-7-3-5, 9-8-10 Speed	.290, 19 HR, 70 RBI, 17 SBs in AAA
3B	L	Matt "ManGenius" Mangini	8-7-5-4-6	.314, 20 HR, 78 RBIs in AAA

Rotation

Role	R/L	Name	Ratings	Last Season
Ace	LH	Kasey "Kris Kross" Kiker	10-8-7, 9 End	3-4, 5.75 ERA, 1.40 WHIP
# 2	RH	Michael Bowden	7-7-9, 7 End	5-5, 5.22 ERA, 1.49 WHIP
# 3	LH	Jered "Nightmare" Weaver	9-9-7, 9 End	14-14, 4.06 ERA, 1.29 WHIP, 5 CG (7th)
# 4	LH	Jeff "Underachiever" Francis	8-8-9, 8 End	11-12, 3.65 ERA, 1.35 WHIP, 1 CG
# 5	LH	Rich "Redneck" Hill	9-8-7, 9 End	13-13, 5.46 ERA, 1.51 WHIP, 4 CG, 2 SHO, 1 SV

Bullpen

Role	R/L	Name	Ratings	Last Season
# 5	LH	Chuck "Buy More" Tiffany	10-8-6, 8 End	6-1, 5.35 ERA, 1.40 WHIP
Middle	RH	Gil "Cy" Meche	9-7-8, 8 End	0-2, 6.19 ERA, 1.50 WHIP
Mid/Set	RH	Chad "Big Pappa" Cordero	8-9-9, 5 End	3-4, 13 SV, 4.91 ERA, 1.55 WHIP
Middle	RH	Seth "To The Right" McClung	9-7-7, 6 End, 98-100 MPH	4-8, 2 SV, 5.18 ERA, 1.37 WHIP
Mid/Mop	RH	Roland "Rollin' " Kenney	8-10-7, 7 End	4-4, 5.13 ERA, 1.24 WHIP
Setup	LH	Ryan "Too Bad" Roland-Smith	7-9-8, 5 End	1-0, 9.39 ERA, 1.43 WHIP
Closer	RH	Carlos "Don't Call Me Chris" Marmol	10-9-8, 4 End, 98-100 MPH	5-4, 39 SV, 1.54 ERA, 0.92 WHIP, 45 Hs, 118 K in 70 IP

I'm not sure what to expect from this squad. I predict that we will be 74-88.

[browntown653]

I love how Jeff Francis is tabbed as "underachiever," despite having a lower ERA than anyone on your team besides Carlos Marmol.

[nick]

Hmm... Rich Redneck Hill. I think you need Hank RedNICK Hill too.

[Kingdom]

Chucky's back in the rotation, BAHAHAHA

[Porter]

To go with a 41 yr old CF. Go US!

[Kingdom]

Should sign and start Juan Pierre, he's a hero, gonna take weak arms down to zero.

[Porter]

If the Adam Jones at 2B Project doesn't work.....

[Porter]

I love how Jeff Francis is tabbed as "underachiever," despite having a lower ERA than anyone on your team besides Carlos Marmol.

Francis is now 1-5 with a 8.12 ERA. I rest my case.