LINEUP
1) SS Ryan "The Riot" Theriot (8-7-6-7-8)
2) 1B Casey "At The Bat" Kotchman (8-7-8-7-6)
3) DH Josh "The Hammer" Willingham (8-10-8-7-6)
4) CF Andruw "Sure to Set the Strikeout Record" Jones (7-8-10-7-4)
5) LF Lew "Gerald" Ford (8-9-6-6-6)
6) RF Melvin "Less Is" Mora (7-6-8-6-5)
7) 3B Andy "The Better" LaRoche (7-7-8-5-7)
8) 2B Andy "THE ****ING MAN" Phillips (6-7-5-7-7)
9) C Yadier "Mets Fan Favorite" Molina (6-7-6-5-8)
BENCH
C Humberto "**** Nicknames, His Name Is Humberto" Cota (6-8-5-3-7)
IF Kevin "Pig Pen" Frandsen (7-7-4-5-6)
SS Mike Morse "Code" (6-7-6-6-6)
OF Geoff "Brett Favre Look-Alike" Jenkins (6-9-8-6-4)
LF Billy "Big Donkey" Butler (7-8-6-5-5)
STARTING ROTATION
1. RHP Joba "The Hut" Chamberlain (10-9-10, 9 END, 65 GB)
2. RHP Matt "How The **** Was I A Second Round Pick?" Belisle (8-6-8, 6 END, 59 GB)
3. RHP Adam "Voldemet" Eaton (9-7-8, 8 END, 64 GB)
4. RHP Aaron "Dennis" Cook (5-9-8, 7 END, 68 GB)
Yup, an Eaton and a Cook in the same rotation
BULLPEN (in reverse)
Closer Francisco "K-Rod" Rodriguez (10-8-8, 4 END, 48 GB)
Setup Man #1 Manny "Bloated" Corpas (9-7-8, 4 END, 45 GB)
Setup Man #2/Middle Reliever #1 Alan "Token Journeyman Lefty Guy" Embree (8-7-8, 2 END, 56 GB)
Middle Reliever #2 Arthur "The Old Man Down The" Rhodes (9-6-7, WTF I JUST NOTICED HE HAS NO ENDURANCE, 54 GB)
Middle Reliever #3 T.J. "Mother" Tucker (7-7-7, 3 END, 63 GB)
Middle Reliever #4/Mopup Reliever #2 Erwin "I Suck Now, But I'm a 10-10-10 Potential" Boley (7-5-8, 3 END, 44 GB)
Mopup Reliever #1 Jason "Polish Prince" Szuminski (7-5-8, 3 END, 45 GB)
TOP PROSPECTS - Look them up yourself. You know how much ****ing time this took me?
Comments are welcome, especially after all the time I just wasted on this.