Strike 3 Forums - Hot Seat Answers #6 - DirtyKash

[Lynch]

DK's answers:





DiamondDave asks: What is your view on increased government spending to give a kick start to the GDP, if the economy is slowed by a slight recession?

DirtyKash answers: Uh... next question please? Really, I have no idea what you just said there and I'm not interested in finding out more. I think that I'll stick with living my hermit life which consists of work, women, sports, food and sleep.

DiamondDave asks: If you were a Harley Davidson Motorcycle, what year and model would you be? Would you remain stock or tricked out with extras and tons of chrome?

DirtyKash answers: I'm not really a biker guy either and my knowledge in motorcycles is rather limited. However, it's quite obvious that chicks dig guys with motorcycles. But in this case, we're talking about biker chicks, and there can be some real hot ones. Many of them MILFs, though. Nevertheless, I'd probably choose to be the best Harley ever made. Just go ahead and fill me in on what year and model that is, 'cause I have no idea.

DiamondDave asks: Have you ever had an accident or moment in your life when you thought "this is the end, I'm going to die"? If so, what were the circumstances?

DirtyKash answers: Why, all the time. As a matter of fact, my most recent near-death experience happened just last summer while on a plane ride back from Asia via Europe. Our aircraft was travelling smoothly when suddenly out of nowhere, the plane started shaking very hard. It was scary. Even more so because I was watching the movie Con Air on my friend's dad's portable mini-DVD player. I know, it's kind of wack to be watching a plane terrorist movie while on a plane trip yourself, but what can I say. It turns out that we were just going through a rough stretch of turbulence, but it was still rather unsettling. I thought for sure that our plane was being taken over and that the pilot had been killed. My whole life flashed before my eyes ...

FalconFlair asks: Should evolution be taught in schools?

DirtyKash answers: Isn't evolution already being taught in schools? Have you ever heard of Darwin? What am I missing here? Is this a bad thing? The answer is yes, it should. The best way to advance as a society is to learn from the past and improve on it.

FalconFlair asks: Who do you take in a street brawl - Elmo or Kermit?

DirtyKash answers: Why would Elmo and Kermit, two supposedly very good friends, fight one another? I find this very odd. Nevertheless, there is no doubt in my mind that I'm taking Kermit. Kermit is a frog, what exactly is Elmo? Frogs are frightening, they go "wribbit" and don't take 'no' for an answer. Frogs fight dirty, they would never hesitate to kick an opponent in the nutsack or throw sand in their eyes, they look for whatever little advantage they can get. Elmo's got no chance, he's going down.

FalconFlair asks: What's the worst decision you ever made in your life?

DirtyKash answers: Taking time to answer these hot seat questions. Haha. No, seriously, the worst decision that I have ever made in my life is buying the movie "Showgirls" on DVD. Have you ever seen that movie? It is horrible. It is beyond horrible. It is undoubtedly the worst 8 dollars that I've ever spent in my life. I watched maybe the first 20 minutes of the movie before not being able to take it anymore. Pure garbage I say. I immediately went to a pawn shop and sold that DVD and got 4 dollars for it. I am a big movie collector but I'm very happy not to have my DVD collection ruined by the presence of such trash.

MightyOne asks: Would the Expos have won the World Series in 1994 if there wasn't a strike?

DirtyKash answers: What am I, a psychic? How should I know? They certainly had the best, most talented roster in baseball, but there is never any guarantee that the best team always wins all the time. That is why you play the games, if sports were played on paper, then the favorites would always prevail. The Seattle Mariners won the most regular season games in 2001, but they failed in their title run. The Expos of '94 would definitely have been big favorites had the season been completed, but you just never know when any team can get hot.

MightyOne asks: Andre Dawson or Gary Carter?

DirtyKash answers: Good question. Andre Dawson is a loser, he popped up in almost every meaningful at-bat he had. The guy was never clutch. Gary Carter is a first-class a--hole, but was a damn good catcher. So I'm going to have to go with Tim Raines, who is cooler than cool.

MightyOne asks: If you were in the stands during the Pacers/Pistons brawl, what would you have done?

DirtyKash answers: After seeing Artest get hit by a beer, my first reaction would probably have been to throw some garbage in the general direction of Ron Artest. Not exactly the wisest thing, but most definitely the first impulse.

giants666 asks: Who's going to win a World Series first: White Sox or Cubs?

DirtyKash answers: Personally, I won't live long enough to find out the answer to this one.

giants666 asks: Can you name 6 different ways to get on first base without getting a hit?

DirtyKash answers: No, I can't. Can you?

giants666 asks: Do you think the Astros should go back to their rainbow-colored uniforms?

DirtyKash answers: What was the reason behind the Astros getting rid of those uniforms in the first place? My guess is that because they look goddamn awful. The uniforms that they have now are very cool, they should stick with them.

BrianDawkins asks: Exactly how dirty is your kash?

DirtyKash answers: You should ask your mother, she found out last night.

stonedrie2 asks: What are your opinions on putting ketchup on eggs?

DirtyKash answers: That would make for a very weird taste. Especially if you're having boiled eggs. How nasty would that be. Yuck. I am guessing that many people like to do this, though, there are some real sickos in this world I tell ya. Personally, I barely ever use any condiments at all when eating, aside from salt and pepper. I barely ever use mustard, mayo, butter, salad dressing, or anything else at all. I like my food plain, for the most part.

stonedrie2 asks: What's the longest you've ever slept continuously?

DirtyKash answers: Never that long. Maybe up to 18 hours one time when I was really tired. But up to a certain point, you just have to get up. Sleeping too long is counter-productive, and as they say, "time is money." Though the one exception in my life was right after I got my penis circumsized back when I was about 7 years old, I remember sleeping for what seemed like an eternity, mostly because my dick hurt really bad and I remember not being able to walk properly for two days after that.

stonedrie2 asks: What's the longest you've ever went without showering/bathing?

DirtyKash answers: Surprisingly, never that long either. You wouldn't have guessed it, but I am a neat freak. My room/house is uber-clean. I could not ever fathom living amongst filth. That is the reason why I take at least two showers a day (once in the morning and then before going to bed at night) and sometimes during the summer when it's hot and humid, I might take three showers a day. I also wash my hands about 10 times a day, on the average. I am a big believer in good hygiene. Have you seen the movie The Aviator? I'm afraid that my paranoia will grow to be as big as Howard Hughes'. Sigh.

[Lynch]

DK's answers (part deux)





HuskerFan2002 asks: What's it like living in Canada?

DirtyKash answers: Uh, I don't know how to answer this? I've never lived anywhere else. It's normal, I guess. The winters are cold and the summers are hot. I guess what you want to know is, yes, I live in an igloo, I drink maple syrup everyday, I spend 8 hours a day playing ice hockey outside, I have a pet beaver at home, my friend is a mountie, and I worship Larry Walker. Anything else you want to know about my lifestyle? Ehhhhhh?

HuskerFan2002 asks: Internet Explorer or Firefox?

DirtyKash answers: Firefox is a little bit faster, but I've been using IE for so long now that it's hard to make the switch just like that. So I use both, more so IE than Firefox, but I try to distribute time evenly between both browsers so that they don't get jealous.

HuskerFan2002 asks: What's one bad habit you do everyday?

DirtyKash answers: Shoplifting.

MarinersFan87 asks: What did Andy Roddick ever do to you?

DirtyKash answers: I don't like him. His game is so one-dimensional. Big serve, big forehand. That is it. He's got no other weapons. The guy just tries to pound it as hard as he can. Against good all-around players like Federer, Safin, Agassi or Hewitt, he will get pounded. Safin, now there's a talented player.

Porter99 asks: Who will be the next big name to be tested positive for steroids?

DirtyKash answers: David Ortiz.

Porter99 asks: Do you have any superstitions?

DirtyKash answers: I don't believe in superstitions. Whatever happens happens. Otherwise, my life would be madness. As if it isn't already.

Porter99 asks: Why is the sky blue and the grass green?

DirtyKash answers: Why is this question stupid and the answer even stupider?

Porter99 asks: Who would you pay to see pitch for a whole season the most?

DirtyKash answers: Without a doubt, I'd pay to see the Pedro Martinez of the late '90s. Most dominating pitcher that I've ever seen pitch, personally. Also, I wouldn't mind getting to see Ugueth Urbina during that same time frame. Urbina's fist pumps and icy staredowns are worth it by themselves. As far as today, not really anyone stands out.

Adinovitz asks: Sex or the Expos back in Montreal?

DirtyKash answers: Sex. This question is like asking, "What do you want for dinner, a nice juicy lean steak or a plate-full of dog excrement?" Really, it's not close. Sex is a wonderful experience, and while having the Expos back in Montreal would be cool, it's impossible for the team to survive here under these conditions. So I'm going to choose the hot steamy wild sex.

.390 asks: How pissed would you have been had Gary Carter went into the Hall of Fame as a Met?

DirtyKash answers: Not that much, I don't think. Obviously, it's nice that he's into the Hall as an Expo, but I don't care much for that sort of thing. It's just a cap, after all. People remember you by what you did on the field, not by what insignia is on some plaque in some museum.

.390 asks: What is your favorite cartoon?

DirtyKash answers: That is a tough question. Whenever I pick up a newspaper (and that's everyday), I always go to the comics page first. There are only a handful of strips that I read, those being FoxTrot, Zits, Stone Soup, Adam, Bizarro, For Better or For Worse, Real Life Adventures, the Boondocks, but also Calvin & Hobbes before it stopped running obviously. I love all of them, how can I pick one over another? It's like asking a parent which of their children they love the most. Such a question just cannot be answered. Nevertheless, I'll have to go with Bizarro on this one. It's a brilliant cartoon.

.390 asks: Does American change periodically get mixed in with Canadian change up in Canada?

DirtyKash answers: I would say very rarely. Maybe once in a while I'll find some American pennies in my change, but aside from that, I'd say no, it doesn't happen all that often.

Lynch asks: Dwelling: If you could live anywhere in the US (city/state), where would you live and why?

DirtyKash answers: Good question, Lynch. Definitely somewhere in California that's for sure. Probably San Diego if I had the choice. My grandparents live in San Diego and so do two of my uncles (on my father's side of the family). I go there every year, pretty much, and everything is just so awesome there. The beaches are fantastic, the women are gorgeous, the weather is great, and the people are very nice. And I'd be able to go to Padres games.

Lynch asks: Movies: What is your favorite non-sports comedy of all-time?

DirtyKash answers: Ack, good question. I've never really thought about this one. My favorite all-time movie is a tie between The Good, the Bad and the Ugly and Terminator 2, but as far as comedy, I'd have to say Groundhog Day. I have literally seen this movie a gajillion-bazillion times, the acting performance by Bill Murray is beyond reproach. Funny, funny, funny.

Lynch asks: Dating: Be honest, what would consist of the perfect date for you?

DirtyKash answers: A good meal at a good restaurant accompanied by a non-****ty, self-respecting, attractive, smart lady but who doesn't talk too much. This lady must be in the 21 to 35 year old age range, have either brown or blond hair, and she must be in between 5'7 and 5'10. She also has to have a good sense of humor, and must (genuinely) laugh at the jokes that I make. Following the meal would be a nice movie then back to her place for some hot steamy sex, and she has to enjoy giving blowjobs.

Lynch asks: Women: Besides Shania Twain, who would you consider the top 3 best looking celebs from Canada?

DirtyKash answers: This question is too easy. #1 on the list is the uber-hot Elisha Cuthbert. You know her from the movie The Girl Next Door. She is hot and when I say hot, I mean goddamn she is fine. Second on the list would have been Shania Twain, but since you excluded her, I'll have to go with Pamela Anderson (during the Baywatch years). Third on the list is Neve Campbell, I bet you didn't know that she is Canadian. Look it up.

Lynch asks: Hockey: Will Roy go into the HOF as an Av or as a Hab? Which would you rather see or could you care less?

DirtyKash answers: I'm one of the few Canadians who doesn't give a crap about hockey. I like Canadian football though.

Eric the Red asks: Can there be light without heat?

DirtyKash answers: Sorry to do this to you, Eric, but how I am supposed to answer this question? Do I look like a freakin' scientist or what? The answer is "I don't know." I really don't. I wish I did, but I don't. I guess the best answer that I can come up with is, "do you have a flashlight?" Turn it on, you'll have your light without your heat.

777 Az-Dbacks asks: What is your favorite candy?

DirtyKash answers: Starbust. They're good.

777 Az-Dbacks asks: What is your favorite soda?

DirtyKash answers: Mountain Dew, Pepsi, Sprite, Root Beer, depends on my mood swings.

Impossibles asks: What do the Canadiens need to add to bring the team to the next level?

DirtyKash answers: I refuse to answer any hockey questions for: (1) lack of knowledge, (2) lack of interest.

Impossibles asks: Do you want Koivu to retire as a Canadien?

DirtyKash answers: see previous response.

DJyellow asks: David Samson and Jeffrey Loria in a corner, one bullet, who do you shoot first?

DirtyKash answers: Myself.

Thanks for all the questions, guys. I appreciate being chosen for this hot seat, thanks for giving me that honor, DiamondDave. The next person on the hot seat is going to be:

McKain

Good luck McKain.