Greatest Simpsons Quotes

[missionhockey21]

This thread =

When Skinner gets fired he has the conversation with Apu and Bart. Here's the soundclip:
http://www.simpsoncrazy.com/download...rassicpark.mp3
Skinner: Now I finally have time to do what I've always wanted: write the great American novel. Mine is about a futuristic amusement park where dinosaurs are brought to life through advanced cloning techniques. I call it "Billy and the Cloneasaurus."
Apu: Oh, you have got to be kidding sir. First you think of an idea that has already been done. Then you give it a title that nobody could possibly like. Didn't you think this through... (fade to later) ...it was on the bestseller list for eighteen months! Every magazine cover had... (later again) ...most popular movies of all time, sir! What were you thinking?!! (pause) I mean, thank you, come again.

[aTrUeCUBsFaN]

Kids, you tried yoru best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is never try.
- Homer Simpson

[missionhockey21]

"Look, Marge, you don't know what it's like. I'm the one out there every day putting his ass on the line. And I'm not out of order. YOU'RE out of order! The whole freakin' system is out of order! You want the truth? You want the truth? You can't handle the truth! 'Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do! Forget it, Marge, it's Chinatown!" -Homer

[BuckFoston]

This thread =

When Skinner gets fired he has the conversation with Apu and Bart. Here's the soundclip:
http://www.simpsoncrazy.com/download...rassicpark.mp3
Skinner: Now I finally have time to do what I've always wanted: write the great American novel. Mine is about a futuristic amusement park where dinosaurs are brought to life through advanced cloning techniques. I call it "Billy and the Cloneasaurus."
Apu: Oh, you have got to be kidding sir. First you think of an idea that has already been done. Then you give it a title that nobody could possibly like. Didn't you think this through... (fade to later) ...it was on the bestseller list for eighteen months! Every magazine cover had... (later again) ...most popular movies of all time, sir! What were you thinking?!! (pause) I mean, thank you, come again.

HAHA, that is hillarious.

[missionhockey21]

Bart- "Dad, mom's in our way."
Homer- "Then push her down son."

[missionhockey21]

Burns: Smithers, do you realize if I had died, there would be no one
to carry on my legacy. Due to my hectic schedule and
lethargic sperm, I never fathered an heir. Now I have no one
to leave my enormous fortune to. No one.
Smithers: Ahem --
Burns: You, Smithers? Oh no, my dear friend. I've planned a far
greater reward for you. When I pass on, you shall be buried
alive with me. [Opens a miniature coffin containing dead
Burns and aghast Smithers]
Smithers: Oh...goody.

[redsfan28]

Moe: Hey Duffman, Let's see how you like a sticker on YOUR face! Here!

Duffman: Duffman... can't breathe... OH no!

[Providence A's]

in Bart's Comet

Skinner: ...for your punishment you will help me map stars at 4 am...
Bart: There's a 4 am now?

[missionhockey21]

Burns: So, Smithers, what are you doing this weekend. Something gay, I expect?
Smithers: What?!
Burns: You know, light and fancy free; mothers, lock up your daughters - Smithers is on the town!
Smithers: Oh! Of course.

[DirtyKash]

Comic Book Guy: "We're currently #299 of the 300 most intelligent cities .......... Take that East St. Louis!"

[DirtyKash]

Homer: "Is this car $15,000?"
Car Salesman: "Eh ... it is now!"

[HBK]

This is one of my favourites...

Can you name the truck with four wheel drive,
smells like a steak and seats thirty-five..

Canyonero! Canyonero!

Well, it goes real slow with the hammer down,
It's the country-fried truck endorsed by a clown!

Canyonero! (Yah!) Canyonero!
[Krusty:] Hey Hey

The Federal Highway comission has ruled the
Canyonero unsafe for highway or city driving.

Canyonero!

12 yards long, 2 lanes wide,
65 tons of American Pride!

Canyonero! Canyonero!

Top of the line in utility sports,
Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts!

Canyonero! Canyonero! (Yah!)

She blinds everybody with her super high beams,
She's a squirrel crushing, deer smacking, driving machine!

Canyonero!-oh woah, Canyonero! (Yah!)

Drive Canyonero!

Woah Canyonero!

Woah!



My other favourite is when Homer and bart are in the airport and speaking to the religious groups, but i can't remember the exact wording i will try and find it.

[DirtyKash]

Dr. Nick is going to perform surgery on Homer.

Dr. Nick: Hi, everybody!

Crowd: Hi, Dr. Nick!

Dr. Nick: If something should go wrong, let's not get the law involved! One hand washes the other. Oh, that reminds me! (washes his hands and puts on operating gloves) These gloves came free with my toilet brush!

[DirtyKash]

The kids are at the playground during recess. Bart and Ralph Wiggum are captains.


Ralph: I pick... Ken Griffey Jr.
Bart: Aww geez. Okay, I'll take... Milhouse.
(Wade Boggs walks by.)
Ralph: Hey Mr. Boggs! Will you be on my team?
Boggs: You got yourself a player.
Bart: Damn! Alright, I'll take... Lewis.
(Jose Canseco walks by.)
Ralph: I'll take... Jose Canseco!
Bart: D'oh!

[DirtyKash]

Hahaha... Did anyone watch the two new episodes last night? Some hilarious lines in there.

Marge: "Homer, we need more money. Maybe you can ask Mr. Burns for a raise."
Homer: "Even better, I'll ask him for my job back."

Heh... And in the episode with Ray Magini, Homer pictures what would happen if he were to drink and drive, and he came to the conclusion that he'd be President. Ha! Ha! Ha!