The thread where I scoff at stupid facebook shares (no politics or religion)

[HollywoodLeo]

Yeah, I understand that you're telling me not to apologize for my mistakes and that people shouldn't forgive.

[Mach]

If you set your privacy settings correctly and don't friend their other account then they can't see any of your posts to complain about...DUMBASS!

It is curious as to why someone would friend someone they blocked.

[HollywoodLeo]

It is curious as to why someone would friend someone they blocked.

I think the problem with the person who posted this (and anyone else who feels the same) is more the former, but I included the latter because that's another way they'd see the posts.

[Mach]

Yeah, I understand that you're telling me not to apologize for my mistakes and that people shouldn't forgive.

I think you're being too narrow with this one though. The idea that you can make any and all mistakes and think sorry can fix it simply isn't true. On that same token it's too broad, but I think it has some usefulness to it.

[HollywoodLeo]

I think you're being too narrow with this one though. The idea that you can make any and all mistakes and think sorry can fix it simply isn't true. On that same token it's too broad, but I think it has some usefulness to it.

Except, apologies aren't supposed to fix the problem. Nobody making a sincere apology thinks they're supposed to fix the problem. If there were a way to undo an action that requires an apology the concept of apologizing wouldn't need to exist.

Somebody not accepting a sincere apology because it doesn't fix the problem is being a narcisistic jerk.

[HollywoodLeo]

And I get that there are scenarios that exist where an apology just doesn't cut it. Whether that be because the action, whether done with intentional mallace or otherwise, caused too great of damage to accept or because the person apologizing is obviously not sincere (either by tone or by action of apologizing for the same "mistake" multiple times).

But when that photo is shared as a general statement directed at nobody in particular it cheapens the concepts of sincere apology and forgiveness, both of which are highly admirable traits that every decent human should posess.

People make mistakes and to preach to all your friends that sorry doesn't matter because it can't undo the ramifications of the mistakes and that you shouldn't forgive the other person because of this (an implication of the statement) is being unecessarily cynical and selfish.

[Mach]

Except, apologies aren't supposed to fix the problem. Nobody making a sincere apology thinks they're supposed to fix the problem.

I did until about a couple of months ago, but nevermind that >_>

If there were a way to undo an action that requires an apology the concept of apologizing wouldn't need to exist.

Why would that be?

Somebody not accepting a sincere apology because it doesn't fix the problem is being a narcisistic jerk.

Or are too wounded, don't care, don't believe it, don't want to hear it at that time? The person who was wounded can do whatever they want with the apology. It's not so much undoing though as it is repairing. There's a difference.

[Mach]

And I get that there are scenarios that exist where an apology just doesn't cut it. Whether that be because the action, whether done with intentional mallace or otherwise, caused too great of damage to accept or because the person apologizing is obviously not sincere (either by tone or by action of apologizing for the same "mistake" multiple times).

But when that photo is shared as a general statement directed at nobody in particular it cheapens the concepts of sincere apology and forgiveness, both of which are highly admirable traits that every decent human should posess.

People make mistakes and to preach to all your friends that sorry doesn't matter because it can't undo the ramifications of the mistakes and that you shouldn't forgive the other person because of this (an implication of the statement) is being unecessarily cynical and selfish.

I did say myself it was too broad, but it's not saying to not apologize, or to not take one, (which is a different point, no one should be or is required to take an apology and forgive) it's saying that it doesn't fix the problem.

(also, malice, possess, unnecessarily)

[Mach]

And to be completely frank, I'm extremely socially stupid. I've had essentially one relationship my entire life and pretty much no friends. I have no idea how to interact with people on anything more than a superficial basis. I actually learned something from that picture (well, I more learned it a couple months ago, because I used to think you could say sorry, things would be okay, the way they were and move forward. That sorry would fix everything) so it does have some value to people as stupid as I am.

[Tobywan]

Aaaaw, Mach.


I forgive you for dissing John Flaherty.

[Mach]

I didn't diss Flaherty, Hammer did! I was far more annoyed with Randolph Johnstone, Tony Woemack, Jaret Wrong, and Glass Ass Carla Blowvano during that time period anyway.

Wow, did we acquire terrible players.

[HollywoodLeo]

I did until about a couple of months ago, but nevermind that >_>

Well, that's odd, I suppose. Apologies can't undo actions, they merely express sincere feelings and a desire to make right what you did wrong. Sure, people abuse it but that doesn't take away the intent and purpose of a sincere one.

Why would that be?

Because if there were a way to turn back time and undo the action we wouldn't need to use words to express sincere apologies when we can just undo it.

Or are too wounded, don't care, don't believe it, don't want to hear it at that time? The person who was wounded can do whatever they want with the apology. It's not so much undoing though as it is repairing. There's a difference.

But if I come to you with a sincere apology and intent of reparing and you tell me to look at that broken plate and that my apology doesn't mean shit then you're still being a cynical jerk.

People make mistakes and I can comprehend someone being hurt by some bigger doozies where that intent doesn't mean much, but when you preach this as a general belief by sharing it directed at nothing in particular then it's too cynical, and that's my beef.

[HollywoodLeo]

I did say myself it was too broad, but it's not saying to not apologize, or to not take one, (which is a different point, no one should be or is required to take an apology and forgive) it's saying that it doesn't fix the problem.

(also, malice, possess, unnecessarily)

But the purpose of sharing it as a general statement gives the wrong sentiment, which is what I'm arguing against.

[HollywoodLeo]

And to be completely frank, I'm extremely socially stupid. I've had essentially one relationship my entire life and pretty much no friends. I have no idea how to interact with people on anything more than a superficial basis. I actually learned something from that picture (well, I more learned it a couple months ago, because I used to think you could say sorry, things would be okay, the way they were and move forward. That sorry would fix everything) so it does have some value to people as stupid as I am.

Perhaps there is something to be learned from the picture if people do think it can fix it? I don't know, I guess I'm just approaching it from the perspective of somebody who has made mistakes and had a sincere apologetic response and intent to do what's best that can be done in response and view this as someone not giving a shit because, well it can't be fixed so my apology means shit.

[Mach]

But the purpose of sharing it as a general statement gives the wrong sentiment, which is what I'm arguing against.

The sentiment is be careful what you do or say because you can't fix it with an apology. What's so wrong about it?