S3F's OFFICIAL Joke Thread

[henks]

I did some searching and couldn't find it, but if you guys know where it is, just merge this into that I suppose.

WARNING
Some of my jokes could be considered distasteful, politically incorrect, or even downright racist. I by no means intend to offend anyone by the jokes posted, and if you are offended, well you can click that red button on the upper right hand of your screen.




How do you fit more gay guys into a bar?

Turn the barstools upside down.


What's the best way to pickup a Jewish girl?

Broom and dustpan (or vacuum if you're in a hurry)


What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?

Pizza didn't scream when it was in the oven.


What did the white guy say when asked if he was racist?

"I'm not racist, I have a color tv"


A piece of string walked into a bar and asked the bartender for a drink. Bartender said "we don't serve strings here". Saddened, the string goes to another bar, and as he sits down asks the bartender for a drink. Bartender says "we don't serve strings here". Depressed, the string leaves and goes and sits on the curb. A couple walk up to him and ask, "why so sad string?" String replies "I just want a drink, but no one will serve me". String then got an idea. He asked the gentleman "will you please tie one end of me into a knot?" The guy does so. He then asks the lady "will you please fray the end of me". The lady appeases his request. The string goes back into the first bar, and asks the bartender for a drink. Bartender says "hey, aren't you that string from earlier?"

String replies, "nope, I'm a frayed knot"

[love_that_reefer]

How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen?
2 in the front, 2 in the back and 10,000 in the ash tray.

What does a man with a one inch dick have for breakfast?
Ask General