First time shaving

[DravenX]

I don't mind my job or at least the AF. My job sucks but the AF as a whole is not bad. I get paid around $35K plus 100% for education. It beats working at McD's getting about $400 a month, hopefully.

[RockSports17]

One of my favorite lines from crazy, old people was when they felt they had to justify why the only wanted 1 hamburger patty or 2 prepared meatballs, etc...the line was "Can I get (insert number equal to or less than 2) of these (insert random meat) please. It's just me." They always felt they had to justify why they only wanted a couple of whatever by saying "it's just me." I don't care why and don't wanna hear your life story...just tell me what you want and I'll do it...I care not about the reason why.

I know that mindset all too well. Some people will just talk forever if you allow them to.

My favorite questions I get are:

"Do you work here?" (What I'm thinking: ah no dipshit, I just wear this uniform for shits and giggles. What I say: yah I can help....whatcha need)

"Do you know where blah blah is?" (My reply to them: I'm just a cart pusher. My best guess is ah...that way.)

My favorite incident happened yesterday.

them: "Ah sir, we're just going to switch these glasses for the ones back there."
me: "You need to go to the customer service desk and they'll allow you to do that. Just tell them."
The wife: "But we no the guy back there."
Me: "Return area. Up front. There you go."
Husband: "Lets just do it the proper way."

When they left the store, they gave me that "cold shoulder" look. Especially the *****y ass wife. Like I was going to allow them to switch sunglasses on my watch. Ha ha ha. She couldve been just stealing the damn glasses.

[Slyder]

I work at a bookstore and my favorite story is this guy comes in and asks for a book....

Me:"Any particular book?"
Him: "Well its orange, its pages are white, the cover thing is black."
Me: "Ummmmmmmmmmm. Do you have any idea of who wrote it, the title, or anything?"
Him: "Nope, just saw it on tv as I was walking out the door."
Me: (thinking what do you expect to do have cateloged EVERY DANG BOOK in every imaginable way) I can't help you, feel free to look around if a title or anything pops in your mind let me know. Sorry I can't be more of a help."
He leaves with a disgusted look on his face like Im suppose to know EVERY BOOK in the store.

I told the manager about this and even he said if I didnt know of people that dumb I'd laugh.

[Providence A's]

my best/funniest story ever, which I'm pretty sure I explained at length in another thread long ago, was the lady that vehemently insisted that she could only have ham because she was allergic to pork. Without laughing, I (and then my dept. manager) tried unsuccessfully to get her to understand that ham is smoked pork...that if you eat ham, you're eating pork and therefor are not allergic to it. All she kept saying was "no, this (the hams we had) is pork. I can't have pork. I'm allergic to pork." She finally gave up and left. She either was one of those mystery shoppers the company had that was trying to test people or just crazy.

Toward the end of my time there (before I left for my first teaching job right after undergrad) they started showing these customer service videos that would show examples of what not to do followed by what to do. None of the examples were ever meat dept. related. They showed giving samples of deli meats, how to help someone find an item, etc. My favorite was a bakery one.

This lady pulls her cart up to the bakery counter to talk to an employee. She proceeds to ask "What's this chocolate cake taste like?" The kid says "Chocolate cake." And that was the end of "what not to do." As soon as he said that I started laughing out loud during the training. I was like, that's exactly what I would said The correct response, according to them, was to say "here, try a piece." Then cut a piece out and give it to the customer to sample...I was like, who the hell is gonna buy 7/8ths of a cake now?

and who the hell has never had chocolate cake before?!?!

[olypride09]

I shave almost everyday because while I don't get that much hair on my chin I get it on the corner on the ends of my upper lips and the real ugly stuff on my cheeks

[Saber]

I shave everyday despite my total lack of an upper lip. Otherwise, I look like I have dirt on my face.

As for customers, I work at an alcohol retailer. We carry a huge variety of booze and drinks, so I always get this question:

"I went to the Olive Garden, and I had this wine there. It was great. Do you have it?"
"Is there anything that you can tell me about the wine?"
"It was red."

By now, I have a specific wine I'll give to them. I just tell them it's the same stuff and they don't know the difference. At least in a place that sells booze we get slightly less customer shit.

[AstrosAnonymous]

I shave like once a week because I don't care about looking shaggy. I am only able to grow hair from my sideburns down all around my neck and chin, cant grow on my cheeks for some reason. I should probally shave every over day, but whatever.

[Lynch]

To go off topic with a few others of you, in my days, I've worked jobs where people give you that stupid vague description of what they want and have no clue wtf they are talking about.


1) Being a bartender. "Hey, do you know how to make a screaming upsidedown tit wringer". I'd say "nope, what's in it and where did you get one" and they'd say soemthing like "I have no idea. A friend was telling me about it from a party she went to back in college". Me.....



2) being a DJ. "Do you have that new song they keep playing on the radio!?" then you just say "nope, I don't have that one yet". Because if you don't and you actually ask them which song, the string of silly shit you get is so indescribable, it'd make your head spin. Or you can just look them square in the eye and say nice and slow (with a condecending tone) " that .... new .... song ".


3) being a karaoke emcee: "do you have the new ________ song yet?" I'd ask when it came out as I've never heard of it. "oh it just came out yesterday". So I have to give them some sort of response like "well, you know it's pretty normal for artists to release their music on karaoke weeks and even months before it's out on the radio or released in the stores, so I'm not sure why I haven't picked that up yet. I'll go get it tomorrow.... just for you".