50 Better Ways Manny Ramirez Could’ve Blown $7.7 Million

[Mr. D™]

Got this from another forum I go to, thought I would share


50 Better Ways Manny Ramirez Could’ve Blown $7.7 Million

May 7, 2009</ABBR> - 4:36 pm By COED Staff

Los Angeles Dodgers outfielder, Manny Ramirez was just busted for failing a performance-enhancing drug test. As a result, Man-Ram received a 50 game suspension effective immediately. Aside from totally screwing over the Dodgers, Manny’s absence will cost him roughly $7.7 million. So just to rub in the sheer stupidity of his actions, we’ve decided to throw together a list of 50 way better ways he could have blown that cash, other than losing it to the MLB.

1. Give boob jobs to every Miss America contestant until 2031


2. Purchase 71,007 of his own LA Dodgers jerseys

3. Buy Snuggies for 429,448 other idiots

4. Buy 18,517,034 Fishsticks for Kanye West - shipping and handling not included

5. Buy 1,929,825 2-piece grilled chicken dinners at KFC


6. Fund the RIAA’s quest against P2P filesharing for 377 days (Ok, this one isn’t “better”)


7. Fly to space with Richard Branson 38 times


8. Have 7.7 face transplants

9. Buy 26 Slumdog Millionaire Children


10. Give away 67 season tickets at Yankee Stadium to kids in his hometown of the Bronx

11. Cryogenically preserve a 2-liter bottle of semen for 100 years


12. Book Asher Roth to play 641 straight bat mitzvahs


13. Separate 3.85 pairs of conjoined twins

14. Book Gov. Spitzer’s escort, Ashley Dupree for 7.12 straight years

#15 Sexually abuse 6 children without going to jail… assuming you worked for the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Los Angeles,.

16. Re-buy Manny’s BBQ grill on eBay 11,925 times


17. Purchase a full page ad of your butt in the New York Times for 55 straight days


18. Full Body Liposuction of the entire cast of the Biggest Loser for 9.5 seasons

19. Book 3.4 Michael Jackson concerts


20. Buy 17,111,111 sliders from White Castle

21. Purchase 8,850.5 pairs of Kanye West’s Louis Vuitton sneakers

22. Buy 38,500 cartons of cigarettes in NYC

23. Pay Charles Barkley’s gambling debt19.25 times



24. Fund the Boston globe for 8 weeks


25. Stay at the Presidential Suite in the Plaza Hotel for 14 years

[Mr. D™]

Continued

26. Single-handedly make The Sounds new album “Crossing the Rubicon” go “Gold” in one day


27. Acquire 192,500 used pairs of panties from this girl

28. Purchase 15,400 lbs of Humboldt County’s finest


29. At $4000 an inch, you could stretch your penis 1925 inches more


30. Have sex with Faith Leon for 4,812.5 hours

31. Fund an army of 147,379 Somali pirates for 1 year


32. Support a year of mentoring programs from 770 South Central LA teens.


33. Take Natalie Dylan’s virginity 2 times

34. Support Kevin Federline for 18 years 4 months


35. Show a nipple on the CBS Superbowl Halftime show 14 times



36. Sign Evan Longoria to a 14-year contract

37. Buy 616 prothetic legs for Heather Mills


38. Get 154,000 ‘Happy Ending’ Massages in NYC

39. Give 38.5 Full-Body Tattoos


40. Have Lunch with Rosie O’Donnell and Star Jones 570 times


41. Get the Human Genome Map on Ebay for you and 112 of your friends

42. Cover the production costs on 7 tracks from Chinese Democracy

43. Purchase 51 luxury 50 yardline Suites to the Superbowl

44. Give The Mexican Wolf Boy Brothers a ‘Royal Shave’ everyday for 191.8 years


45. Buy 7,700 Liters of Omnadren Testosterone Blend


46. Service the national debt for the United States government for 7 minutes and 30 seconds

47. Use a public restroom in Germany 281 times a day for 75 years


48. Get Married 21,751 at the Graceland Chapel in Las Vegas


49. Fund Robert Rodriguez’s El Mariachi 11,000 times

50. Buy the “Robinson Crusoe Island” in Fiji

[love_that_reefer]

Nicely done!

[cjkalt]

Hahahaha, thats pretty funny