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Thread: Saber's Intoxicated Ramblings

  1. 05-07-2006 02:15 AM #1
    Saber
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    Saber's Intoxicated Ramblings

    Inspiration: Two Sam Adams Black Lagers and some creme brulee liqueur

    Saw the Brewers put a whooping on the Cubs on Saturday. Cecil Fielder had himself a big 'ole boy, and mercy, can he hit.

    Rickie Weeks is a skinny black guy? Huh.

    What, no more talk about Chris Shelton is the greatest first baseman ever? You mean what happens so early in the year isn't that big a deal?

    Delmon Young is a headcase. If he's lucky, he becomes Albert Belle. Not even Joey was that crazy in the minors.

    Bonds is hitting again. He must be on the steroids. Or maybe he's just really ****ing good.

    The Cubs are screwed without Derrek Lee. I mean, their offense had problems anyway, but you can't replace that kind of production with Todd Walker or, even worse, Neifi Perez.

    Family Guy isn't that funny anymore. It's just reinforcing your little liberal beliefs now.

    Redheads are crazy. Great lays, but crazy. I'm seeing her again tonight. She's a volleyball playing med student.

    If any team is a total disaster, it's the Royals. I'm sure that one guy wrote a compelling article on the subject, but honestly, I wasn't paying attention.

    Every AA left-handed control freak who can't break 85 is going to be the next Jamie Moyer. I'll put money on it.

    If Marcus Vick were named Marcus Johnson, no one would give a shit about him.

    Matt Leinart is the white Steve Young.

    I showed up to my law school tour hung over, ten minutes late, dressed in jeans and a button down shirt. The other person on tour was some girl who came hundreds of miles and was dressed to the nines. I almost felt guilty, especially since she was an applicant and I already got a full ride.

    Wins and Losses are unrealistic measures of a pitcher's success for the same reasons RBI are. That is because both W-L and RBI rely on other guys on your team to get them.

    Finally: When all else fails, lower your standards.

    Also: Go nail a redhead.
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  2. 05-07-2006 02:54 AM #2
    realmofotalk
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    Yeah, Steve Young was the greatest non-white quarterback of all time.
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  3. 05-07-2006 07:32 PM #3
    redsfan28
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    Quote Originally Posted by realmofotalk
    Yeah, Steve Young was the greatest non-white quarterback of all time.
    Just like Jerry Rice was the greatest white receiver ever!
    rf28
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  4. 05-07-2006 10:00 PM #4
    Saber
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    I've seen Jerry Rice dance. There's no way he could be a black man.
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  5. 05-07-2006 10:23 PM #5
    Providence A's
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    you do know that ERA is dependent upon other guys, too, right? Other guys field the balls. Other guys catch the balls. Other guys misplay the balls that aren't errors, but should be caught. Other guys call the pitches. Other guys catch the pitches. Other guys throw out base stealers. Other guys don't. Other guys call balls and strikes. Other guys blow calls. Other guys help other guys...
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  6. 05-07-2006 10:34 PM #6
    Kingdom
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    You just enjoy typing other guys.
    Marshall: MILSWANCAs?
    Ted    : Wait, I can get this. Mothers I'd like to sleep with and never call again.
    Barney: Circle gets the square!

    The 2074 MSL NL Gold Glove Recipient at Third Base.
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  7. 05-07-2006 10:39 PM #7
    Providence A's
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    yes...that's all I enjoy about other guys though...
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  8. 05-08-2006 08:15 AM #8
    redsfan28
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    Since Saber mentioned Cecil Fielder, do you all remember when he tried to steal 3rd and came up about 10 feet short?
    rf28
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  9. 05-09-2006 02:39 PM #9
    Wally Mo Pena
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    Who ever suggested RBIs were a good measure of a pitchers success?

    Is it our stated goal on this site to offend any women who might accidentally read this site confusing it for a baseball forum? Just curious.
    Reds MVP Race

    6: Arroyo, Harang
    5: Kearns
    4: Phillips
    3: Dunn, Felo, Freel, Milton
    2: Claussen, EdE, Griffey, Valentin
    1: Aurilia, Hatteberg, Lizard, Larue, Shackelford
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  10. 05-09-2006 04:02 PM #10
    Saber
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    Does that cutesy crap get you any action?
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  11. 05-10-2006 05:02 PM #11
    Wally Mo Pena
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    man, it's so boss living in the 80's. time to pop the old collar, roll up the sleves on this sport jacket, go trickle down some economics and nail a redhead! anyone have a bill buckley jr book-on-8-track i could borrow, that should get me some action for sure! oh wait... it's not the 80's anymore, Bogus!

    at least you're progressive with your feelings about homosexuality what with getting drunk on creme brulee liqueur.
    Reds MVP Race

    6: Arroyo, Harang
    5: Kearns
    4: Phillips
    3: Dunn, Felo, Freel, Milton
    2: Claussen, EdE, Griffey, Valentin
    1: Aurilia, Hatteberg, Lizard, Larue, Shackelford
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  12. 05-10-2006 05:38 PM #12
    redsfan28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wally Mo Pena
    man, it's so boss living in the 80's. time to pop the old collar, roll up the sleves on this sport jacket, go trickle down some economics and nail a redhead! anyone have a bill buckley jr book-on-8-track i could borrow, that should get me some action for sure!
    Don't forget everyone wanting a talking black Trans-Am or wearing pastel colors with shoes made out of wicker.
    rf28
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  13. 05-14-2006 11:42 AM #13
    perforatededge54
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wally Mo Pena
    man, it's so boss living in the 80's. time to pop the old collar, roll up the sleves on this sport jacket, go trickle down some economics and nail a redhead! anyone have a bill buckley jr book-on-8-track i could borrow, that should get me some action for sure! oh wait... it's not the 80's anymore, Bogus!

    at least you're progressive with your feelings about homosexuality what with getting drunk on creme brulee liqueur.
    brutal
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