Bobby Abreu is going to the Red Sox for Manny Ramirez!
Unless, of course, the Phillies rightfielder is traded to the Giants for Jason Schmidt, the Cardinals for Jason Marquis or the Orioles for Erik Bedard.
All those rumors can only mean one thing: The winter meetings are right around the corner. The annual conclave formally opens Monday in Dallas; baseball people from the various teams will begin establishing their beachheads beginning Sunday.
Anything can happen in the hothouse atmosphere that is created when a bunch of baseball executives are all together in the same place for 4 days, but it appears unlikely at the moment that the Phillies will be making any headline-grabbing trades involving Abreu, Pat Burrell or any other big names.
For one thing, while the Phillies have few untouchables, the two corner outfielders likely would be bait only if a top-notch starting pitcher could be acquired in return.
"Which I don't see," general manager Pat Gillick said.
As far as Abreu is concerned, assistant general manager Ruben Amaro called agent Peter Greenberg in Venezuela 2 weeks ago and asked him to let the outfielder know that, know matter what Abreu might hear, he wasn't being shopped.