ESPN Page 2 - Caple: Ready, aim, you're fired


"How not to fire a Manager:

1. Having the manager escorted from the stadium by Mr. Met and Lady Met.
2. Meeting with him when he's still wearing his baseball uniform, then ordering him to change out of his uniform and into a vendor's uniform while informing him that he hasn't been fired, just "re-assigned" to the concession stands selling ice cream sundaes served up in mini-helmets.
3. Announcing the firing on the stadium scoreboard in between the pizza-delivery race and the Guess the Attendance game.
4. Texting him without even bothering to spell out the word "You're," instead typing "U R fired."
5. Waking him up in the middle of the night in his hotel room and telling him that you need to speak to him first thing in the morning about something very, very important, but you can't tell him what right now because you don't want to ruin his night's sleep, then adding that, oh, he probably should avoid ordering an InDemand movie or room service for breakfast or using the minibar unless he's willing to pay for it himself.
6. Giving him the bad news via signs flashed by the third-base coach during the bottom of the sixth inning.
7. Calling up his weekly radio show, identifying yourself as "Omar from Flushing" and announcing that he's been fired.
8. Firing him while he's in uniform AND wearing a fake nose and glasses.
9. Offering him a 50 percent pay cut after leading the team to four World Series titles, six pennants and a dozen consecutive postseason appearances.
10. Ordering him to finish out his contract as Mr. Met."