Mad Libs

[redsrbetter]

Pretty funny mad libs article here. This exercise will make you laugh. Do it and check your teams news once and a while and see that the Q&A will be more of the same gander.

Article here.

[HollywoodLeo]

Five Burning Questions facing the Padres


by Leo Palmer


1. Can Chris Young stay healthy?

Whether they'll admit it or not, the Padres clearly missed Chris Young last season. When healthy, he's the watch that jumps the ipod. Unfortunately, he's not healthy often, and his prolonged absences make The Green Mile seem short by comparison.

Fortunately, he's making an effort to correct the problem.
"I spent the offseason working with a teacher to strengthen my eyeball," he said. "But after a few days of that, my heart started to bother me, so now I'm just taking it easy and seeing what happens."

2. Can David Eckstein remain productive?

Unfortunately for the Padres, David Eckstein isn't getting any younger, and is hoping to squeeze one more productive season out of his knee before calling it a career. At 23 years old, he knows his inevitable eventual decline is the leopard in the kitchen, but he cautions doubters who think he's too old to contribute:
"After spending the offseason sleeping with John McCain, I'm in the best shape of my life," he said. "Now, where'd I leave my bottle?"

3. Can Chase Headley rebound from a tough 2009?

When Chase Headley is on, he shows flashes of brilliance the team has been hoping for since he burst onto the scene in 2007. Unfortunately, he's never been able to put it all together, and Bud Black will spend the spring working with him to improve his speed.

"I think this could be the year he really comes together as a player," coach said. "But then again, I also thought I had a shot with that bagger from the grocery store"

4) Is Jon Garland the answer?

Last season's events and the offseason that followed left the team with an empty spot in house, and they filled it by acquiring Jon Garland. Team officials are excited about the grittiness he'll bring to the team.
"We were really hoping to find a player who runs as well as he does," the team official said. "We think he can be the bottle that pushes us over the top."

5. Will the team be forced to deal Adrian Gonzalez?

The team remains hopeful in their negotiations with Adrian Gonzalez, but no deal is in place, creating uncertainty about the future of one of the team's brightest stars. He said he's not going to allow his situation to distract him from the task at hand.
"I'm just trying to play my game and let the bling resolve itself," he said. "But I hope it happens soon, because I've got my eye on a nice Lamborghini."

[missionhockey21]

Five Burning Questions facing the Cincinnati Reds
by missionhockey21

1. Can Joey Votto stay healthy?

Whether they'll admit it or not, the Cincinnati Reds clearly missed Joey Votto last season. When healthy, he's the Olympian that swims the song. Unfortunately, he's not healthy often, and his prolonged absences make Transformers 2 seem short by comparison. Fortunately, he's making an effort to correct the problem.

"I spent the offseason working with a/an janitor to strengthen my toes," he said. "But after a few days of that, my ear started to bother me, so now I'm just taking it easy and seeing what happens."

2. Can Scott Rolen remain productive?

Unfortunately for the Cincinnati Reds, Scott Rolen isn't getting any younger, and is hoping to squeeze one more productive season out of his neck before calling it a career. At seven years old, he knows his inevitable eventual decline is the kitten in the South Dakota, but he cautions doubters who think he's too old to contribute:

"After spending the offseason looking at photos of grandchildren with Clint Eastwod, I'm in the best shape of my life," he said. "Now, where'd I leave my ocean?"

3. Can Jay Bruce rebound from a tough 2009?

When Jay Bruce is on, he shows flashes of brilliance the team has been hoping for since he burst onto the scene in 2006. Unfortunately, he's never been able to put it all together, and Dusty Baker will spend the spring working with him to improve his mechanics.

"I think this could be the year he really comes together as a player," coach said. "But then again, I also thought I had a shot with that adminstrative assistant from the bursar's office."

4) Is Orlando Cabrera the answer?

Last season's events and the offseason that followed left the team with an empty spot in New Brunswick, and they filled it by acquiring Orlando Cabrera. Team officials are excited about the winning attitude he'll bring to the team.

"We were really hoping to find a player who climbs as well as he does," the team official said. "We think he can be the Honda that pushes us over the top."

5. Will the team be forced to deal Francisco Cordero?

The team remains hopeful in their negotiations with Francisco Cordero, but no deal is in place, creating uncertainty about the future of one of the team's brightest stars. He said he's not going to allow his situation to distract him from the task at hand.

"I'm just trying to play my game and let the dolla dolla billz resolve itself," he said. "But I hope it happens soon, because I've got my eye on a nice diamond ring."