Saber's Drunken Rantings

Inspiration: le Lorimier Spectrum 2001

Bert Blyleven should be in the Hall of Fame. It shouldn't even be a question. He was a great pitcher stuck with some awful teams. If he hit 300 wins, you'd be saying the same thing.

Sandy Koufax and Bob Dylan are both guys admired for their amazing careers, yet no one has any idea what they accomplished outside of a 6 year period of the 1960s.

I had no idea that Ryan Howard was black. Really, I never thought about it. I always imagined a hulking white slugger a la Thome or Giambi.

Jamie Moyer is proof that talent has little bearing on having a successful baseball career. Willie Bloomquist is proof that the Mariners don't understand that that is not a good thing.

Does Vladimir Guerrero speak any language? I've never heard him say anything at all.

Red Sox Fans: Ted Williams :: Yankees fans: Alex Rodriguez

Todd Helton is going to be a real tough Hall of Fame case. His career is the direct inverse of Sandy Koufax. Too bad the Rockies get to find out as they pay him 35 kajillion dollars for the next 76 years.

Did you know that in Japan they play baseball with a ball made of rice, and the losing team gets sacrificed to their savage pagan gods?

Derek Jeter is the human equivalent of a pitchback on defense, with roughly the same range. Deal with it. That doesn't mean he isn't one of the greatest shortstops ever.

Barry Bonds was a Hall of Fame player even if you ended his career with the 2000 season. Deal with that too.

Women actually like when you act like an insensitive jerk. Try it and see.

I would support more Dominicans in the majors leagues only if it meant fewer Puerto Ricans. I think you know where I'm getting at here, people.

Pittsburgh Pirates: Jack Wilson:: Anaheim Angels: Darin Erstad

A quality French Bourdeaux smells like chicken shit. I still dropped 30 bucks on a bottle.

Consider it a testament to David Ortiz's defense that the Red Sox run everyone short of Tuffy Rhodes out there to keep him from putting on a fielder's glove. Especially considering Manny and his Willy Wonka boat ride in left field every day.


Last but not least: The Simpsons: Hank Aaron:: Family Guy: Lou Gehrig