I post my ode to you, fearless leader.
I ask you to return to us, return to us with your posting splendor. I ask you to pass up the indie bands for a day or two every so often, to join us and embrace the sport of baseball as you have always done so in the past. I humbly have listed 20 reasons for which you should return. My heart, it weeps for your absence.
20. Joey Votto is actually immortal and he was just signed to a lifetime contract.
19. The Cubs are gonna suck for a while.
18. Pujols and Prince left the division.
17. Zod had babies, so the Reds fan base increased by 2
16. The Bengals still suck.
15. Ryan Madson's injury actually happened because he took a bullet for you
14. Aroldis Chapman still throws harder than any of us drive.
13. Zach Cozart's hot start.
12. Mike Leake is a better hitter than 90% of the Houston Astros
11. Willie Harris will at any given fly ball have a ridiculous catch
10. Joey Votto seriously is signed forever. He will not be going to Toronto. Joey Votto!
09. If Dusty Baker tries to kill Alfredo Simon's arm, the man could legit kill back!
08. There's bound to be more hot female Reds fans just cause they wanted to witness the Reds before the world ends in December.
07. Johnny Cueto hasn't kicked anyone lately.
06. The potential to witness Wilson Valdez pitch in a blow out or a 20 inning game!
05. More people are actually spelling Cincinnati correctly these days! Except for Leo's brother.
04. 162 games of drama for the Miami Castro Marlins!
03. Tim Tebow endorses this thread and plea to you.
02. Brandon Phillips secretly tweeted how much he loves you, accompanied by a bunch of smiley faces.
01. Baseball..is here...2012...it needs you.