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Since the pirates are annual feeders for the rest of the Major Leagues, what if the teams that were legit contenders or honestly thought they were contenders held a draft to break up the pirates 25 man roster? This is how it could break down:



1. Tampa Bay Rays: CF Andrew McCutchen
Hey, this solves the issue of replacing Carl Crawford and it breaks the hearts of the remaining 211 Pittsburgh fans.

2. Detroit Tigers: RP Joel Hanrahan
Detroit's end ...

Let's review the Opening Day action with two quips about each game.


Mariners/A's:
- Not to be confused with the failed Buffalo Bills quarterback, the Seattle Mariners catcher Rob Johnson launched a monster home run off Ben Sheets and went 1-for-2.
- The A's cut their home run leader for the last three seasons, Jack Cust, so that... Eric Chavez?!?! could start at DH? What! Chavez goes 0-for-4 with a strikeout.


Twins/Angels:
- Kendry ...