There is a hell...
by
, 08-21-2012 at 12:44 AM (4411 Views)
...believe me. I've seen it.
These past, what, two years have been unbearable. They have been, and still are, beyond description. Just to be clear, that's not in anyway to discount all the amazing and miraculous things that have occurred, because those have been phenomenal. It's just that, as with everything in life, you win some, you lost some.
I was one of the lucky ones. My paralysis extended up only to my mid-thigh. Through day after day of strenuous and trying rehab, I was able to regain muscle strength, enough that I can now stand and even walk under my own power. But all that time spent obsessing over my body and my shortcomings came at a price. I completely lost my sanity. Four psychological diagnoses came out of the woodwork, resulting in more intensive care, this time with those who could have put Randle McMurphy to shame if provoked (oh boy do I have some good stories from there!!!).
And that's about all I can share at the moment. I get flustered just thinking about it. Now, I'm not trying to make this whole blog into my personal diary where I share my innermost thoughts or even like a tumblr for that matter. I don't even know why I'm typing this right now. I should really be doing something more productive, like the laundry. Or the dishes. Or watch the BBC Sherlock on blu-ray (now if that doesn't show my priorities, I don't know what does). Buuuuut I'm not. I'm here. So you'll just have to excuse my pointless rumination. Take it all at face value. Because even if there is a hell (which I know there is), life is just too damn short to be taken seriously.