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Let's review the Opening Day action with two quips about each game.


Mariners/A's:
- Not to be confused with the failed Buffalo Bills quarterback, the Seattle Mariners catcher Rob Johnson launched a monster home run off Ben Sheets and went 1-for-2.
- The A's cut their home run leader for the last three seasons, Jack Cust, so that... Eric Chavez?!?! could start at DH? What! Chavez goes 0-for-4 with a strikeout.


Twins/Angels:
- Kendry ...

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